Potburys Funeral Service: coping with Covid, and the changing face of funerals

Running a funeral service was never going to be the easiest of jobs.

But no-one could have imagined the additional challenges of helping people through bereavements during a pandemic.

Earlier this year, as the Covid-19 crisis took hold, the staff at both Potburys Funeral Service in Sidmouth and Hansfords Funeral Service in Seaton, faced a new and difficult challenge.

Funeral Directors Corinne Sycamore and Colin Comber, along with their dedicated team, had to get to grips with an alarming and quickly developing situation and ensure that they were all able to carry out their work safely, despite some initial difficulties in obtaining enough personal protective equipment (PPE).

But the hardest part was being unable to comfort people in the normal way, at the time when they most needed human contact.

Corinne said: "It was really difficult, because a big part of our job is the tactile part, where you can sit and hold somebody's hand or give them a hug, and suddenly, that was off-limits.

"Initially we weren't able to meet with the families – everything was done over the phone and via emails.

"We'd be turning up at a funeral, and if the clients were able to attend, we wouldn't know who they were because we'd never seen them before.

"I feel really desperately sorry for the people who lost someone to the virus and weren't able to say goodbye in the hospital or come to the funeral.

"A lot were living in London and their loved ones were here, and they weren't able to leave London or attend the funeral at all.

"The limit on numbers attending funerals went from immediate family, to between one and 10, we had a lot of funerals with just a couple of people attending, and they were having to travel from wherever live in the UK and return back again the same day, which was really difficult."

Helping families to plan services of thanksgiving after Covid restrictions are lifted

Under the current restrictions, the number that can attend a church or crematorium is still limited to 30 people. Everyone must wear face masks, and there is no singing.

Not surprisingly, most families who have had to deal with a bereavement during the pandemic are planning thanksgiving services at some point next year, when life will hopefully get back to normal and all relatives and friends can attend. And the staff at Potburys Funeral Service will be doing all they can to help.

"We've offered, all the way through, to assist with the thanksgiving or celebration of life services with our families," Corinne said. "A lot of them are going to do something special with their ashes, if the person was cremated."

How funerals have changed over the years

Corinne has been very pleased to see the way funerals and memorial services have evolved in recent years, becoming much less formulaic than they used to be. They can be conducted in a very individual and meaningful way, tailored to the wishes of the deceased person and their family.

"Really, nowadays funeral directing has moved on to being very much like a wedding planner," she said. "You tell us what you would like to do, and we will do everything we can to achieve it for you.

"For example, they might want transport that isn't a hearse. There's horse and carriage, a motorbike and sidecar to name but a few.

"We also work with a company called Aura, where ashes can be taken into space and dispersed above the earth's atmosphere. I am really excited that one day, someone might take up that option.

"It's so exciting to be part of a business that has gone full circle and is looking to create anything that our clients want. It has always been a bit taboo to talk about death, but we would encourage people to have that discussion so that when it comes to that day, their families are empowered with that information.

"Although it's very sad for the family, they've got that peace of knowing they're doing what their loved one wanted."

To help this process, Potburys keep a 'wish book'. People are encouraged to come and talk about how they feel they would like their funeral to be, and their wishes are written down and kept safely. This document is not legally binding but does give their families a basis to work on, at a time when their grief may make it difficult for them to make those decisions.

Over the Christmas period, Potburys have their traditional 'memory tree' in the foyer of their offices. Every year the tree is decorated with the names of those who have died in the last 12 months. Corinne is keen to reassure residents that the offices are Covid-safe, and open as normal for people to add their loved ones' names to this year's tree; it is all part of serving a small town and developing personal relationships.

"We very much want to be part of the community, and for people not to be frightened to come in. We're happy to have a chat about anything and give advice."

Potburys Funeral Service can be found at 111 High Street, Sidmouth EX10 8LB, tel 01395 513 355 (24-hour service). For more information visit Potburys Funerals